I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
