I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
you never un-have a 4some
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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