is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
