Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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