Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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