I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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