Michael Bay diarrhea
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
