if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
