And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
