who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
