What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
