Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
