A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
