bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
