So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
