I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
dude. I can hear the air.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
