Soap is not a condiment
we made out on top of his cat.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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