Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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