Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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