I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
