Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
