I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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