# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
