people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I want to fling myself into the sun
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize