You really coming over, don't trick.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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