So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
