P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
