Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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