Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
