stop calling my apartment porn island.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
