oh god the rape fog is back!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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