worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
