if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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