I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
