id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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