i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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