oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
