ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
