I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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