just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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