So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We need a shit load of segways right now
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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