when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
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