we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
