did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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