Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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