there's paper in my vomit.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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