I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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