So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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