the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
