why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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