Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
