hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
