Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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