Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
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