Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My pussy is not your playground.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
