I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
