I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
