It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
